Movie Jail: This week’s defendant is…Stephen Sommers!

Last Updated on August 2, 2021

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This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.

The Defendant

Movie Jail Stephen Sommers Odd Thomas G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra The Mummy Deep Rising Image

The Case

The Prosecution: Odd Thomas, G.I. Joe: Retaliation (executive producer), G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (producer), Van Helsing, The Scorpion King movies (writer/producer), Tom & Huck (writer/producer), Gunmen (writer)

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it shouldn't come as a surprise to see Stephen Sommers up for Movie Jail. The director hasn't had a fresh rated film at Rotten Tomatoes since 1994's The Jungle Book, and in the prosecution's opinion, has only made a few decent movies. The prosecution knows there are some who are fans of "fun and dumb" flicks like Mr. Sommers' G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra, but I just haven't been impressed with most of his films.

The prosecution will give Mr. Sommers credit for his The Mummy and its sequel The Mummy Returns, however there was absolutely no need for a third movie, or The Scorpion King spin-off films. Granted, Mr. Sommers didn't direct the movies (he produced The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor and The Scorpion King series, and co-wrote the script for the first movie starring Dwayne Johnson), but the prosecution believes he's a big reason why these terrible films exist in the first place.

This is probably where the prosecution is going to lose the jury, but I really didn't care for Mr. Sommers' G.I. Joe flicks. Of course the one he didn't direct (G.I. Joe: Retaliation) is the one most believe is the slightly better G.I. Joe movie, but the prosecution still doesn't think either film was fantastic or very memorable. At least the director tried to do something different with his last film Odd Thomas, and it's a work of art compared to his Van Helsing (vomit), however the prosecution thought it was just okay, which (if I'm being generous) is also how I would describe Mr. Sommers' filmography.

Movie Jail Stephen Sommers Odd Thomas G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra The Mummy Deep Rising Image

The Defense: Odd Thomas, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, The Mummy Returns, The Mummy, Deep Rising, The Jungle Book, The Adventures of Huck Finn,

Ladies and gentlemen, the defense is convinced the prosecution doesn't understand the joys of watching a popcorn film, and only watches important, Oscar-worthy movies. My client's films might be "fun and dumb" like the prosecution claims, but there's nothing wrong with that, and many people love Mr. Sommers' movies. Well, except for Van Helsing, but overall the defense has enjoyed most of the director's work.

The defense is a fan of both G.I. Joe flicks, and the prosecution's argument that they're not "good" movies is ridiculous. Everyone has their reasons why they think a movie is good or bad, but the defense doesn't believe anyone walked into either film (or most of Mr. Sommers' other movies) expecting them to be anything more than what they are: entertaining, but disposable films. And based on the audience scores for Mr. Sommer's movies, it's obvious the defense isn't the only one who thinks his movies are worth checking out.

Most critics disliked Odd Thomas, however the defense loved its schizophrenic tone, and I wouldn't be shocked if it ends up becoming a cult film. Speaking of cult (or at least near cult) movies, the defense probably would have physically attacked the prosecution if he said anything nasty about Mr. Sommers' Deep Rising, a very awesome and underrated action horror movie. Mr. Sommers uses quite a bit of CGI in many of his films, and not all of it is good, however the defense doesn't believe he should go to Movie Jail for that.

There's one other thing the jury should also consider before deciding my client's fate. Although he was already a well-known WWE wrestler at the time, Mr. Sommers did launch Dwayne Johnson's acting career with The Mummy Returns. The defense isn't trying to say he wouldn't be the movie star he is today without his Scorpion King role, but the director definitely helped Mr. Johnson's career by casting him in the film.

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Do you think Mr. Sommers belongs in Movie Jail, or do you not understand the hate for the director? Do you believe his movies are fun, or just dumb? Is director Stephen Sommers GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?


*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.


Movie Jail Stephen Sommers Odd Thomas G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra The Mummy Deep Rising Image


Movie Jail Saw Saw II Saw III Saw IV Saw V Saw IV Saw 3D Tobin Bell Jigsaw Image

The Saw franchise has been found GUILTY of all charges in last week's Halloween edition of Movie Jail. The horror series did have its supporters, but many jury members said most of the movies just aren't that great, and they also said they're not interested in seeing a new film. Game over, Saw!


GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition)

NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman

UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler


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