Movie Jail: This week’s defendant is…Josh Duhamel!

Last Updated on August 2, 2021

Movie Jail Josh Duhamel Transformers Scenic Route You're Not You Safe Haven Banner

This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.

The Defendant

Movie Jail Josh Duhamel Transformers Scenic Route You're Not You Safe Haven Image

The Case

The Prosecution: You're Not You, Safe Haven, Movie 43, Fire with Fire, New Year's Eve, When in Rome, Life as We Know It, The Romantics, Transformers movies, Turistas

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Josh Duhamel has exactly two fresh movies at Rotten Tomatoes with Scenic Route and Ramona and Beezus. As for the rest of the actor's filmography? It's filled with movies that terrify the prosecution, but for all the wrong reasons.

Besides Michael Bay's lame-ass Transformers movies, Mr. Duhamel has starred in terrible romantic-comedies (New Year's Eve, When in Rome, Life as We Know It) and overly sappy (as well as awful) dramas like Safe Haven and You're Not You. He also appeared in the straight to DVD (and critically panned) Fire with Fire, and the notoriously dreadful Movie 43.

Ok, so Mr. Duhamel hasn't appeared in the best movies, but can he act? The actor doesn't seem have the greatest range, and often (too often in the prosecution's opinion) plays a cop, someone in the military, or the hunk in a rom-com. He's like a slightly better looking, but less talented Timothy Olyphant. Mr. Duhamel did show he is capable of playing other types of characters with the previously mentioned Scenic Route, but the prosecution feels it was a "too little, too late" effort from the actor.

Between his dreadful filmography, and his bland and safe roles, the prosecution is confident the jury will want to lock Mr. Duhamel up in Movie Jail

Movie Jail Josh Duhamel Transformers Scenic Route You're Not You Safe Haven Image

The Defense: Scenic Route, Ramona and Beezus, Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! Las Vegas (television)

Ladies and gentlemen, the defense feels the prosecution is being a little rough on Mr. Duhamel and his movies. It's true my client doesn't have a fantastic filmography, but the defense thought the actor did a solid job in many of his poorly received films, like When in Rome.

However, the defense knows doing a decent job in Life as We Know It isn't going to keep my client out of Movie Jail. But what should is his excellent performances in Scenic Route and Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!, and the fact that he hasn't had a ton of opportunities to show off his talents as an actor.

The defense thinks part of the reason why is because my client is a former soap star, and since he's not a huge name, Mr. Duhamel also is probably just taking whatever roles are being offered to him. When Hollywood needs a recognizable, inoffensive and attractive white dude for one of their movies, they give Mr. Duhamel a call.

The defense also thought he was great on NBC's Las Vegas, and we believe it's promising Mr. Duhamel has been cast in the upcoming Vince Gilligan series Battle Creek. The defense understands why my client is up for Movie Jail, but we don't believe Mr. Duhamel deserves to go to prison.

Movie Jail Josh Duhamel Transformers Scenic Route Fire with Fire Safe Haven Image


What should we do with Mr. Fergie? Do you think the actor belongs in Movie Jail, or do you believe he's done enough solid work to keep him out of prison? Is the problem Mr. Duhamel, or his movies and roles? I ask you, the jury, is Josh Duhamel GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?


*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.


Movie Jail Josh Duhamel Transformers Scenic Route You're Not You Safe Haven Image


Movie Jail Uma Thurman Kill Bill Pulp Fiction Nymphomaniac Playing For Keeps Motherhood Image

The court was a little surprised with the results from last week's trial. As expected, many jury members defended Uma Thurman because of her performances in Pulp Fiction and the Kill Bill movies, however most also said they haven't been impressed with the actress' recent films, and it's been decided she is GUILTY of all charges. The court has agreed to release Miss Thurman if Quentin Tarantino needs her for a new movie, but she'll be heading right back to prison as soon as she's done with the project.


GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman

NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Special), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman

UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler


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