Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Cuba Gooding, Jr.!
Feb. 25, 2013
The Defendant
Cuba Gooding Jr.
The Case
The Prosecution: Holy shit, everything from the last 15 years*
Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, have we ever witnessed such a rapid decline as we have with the likes of Mr. Cuba Gooding, Jr.? We're talking about a guy who won the Oscar for Jerry Maguire, tried his hand at more dramatic roles for a few years, dipped his toe into the family friendly arena, then gave up and became the Straight to DVD god we all know him as now. Sure, he tried valiantly to make a come back with 2003's Radio but as we learned from Tropic Thunder, homeboy went full retard. And you never go full retard. Do you remember how awkward you felt watching Mr. Gooding Jr., laugh and drool all over the place in that movie? We were uncomfortable. In 2009 alone, he acted in over a handful of forgettable, straight to DVD flicks. Is this what happens to Oscar winners once they win the golden statue? No, just Mr. Gooding Jr., and that's why we're looking for the court to prosecute and toss his ass in jail for a few years to slap some sense into him.
The Defense: American Gangster, Jerry Maguire, Men of Honor, Gladiator (the other one), As Good as it Gets, A Few Good Men, Boyz n the Hood, What Dreams May Come, Rat Race*
Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, Mr. Gooding, Jr. is a working actor and carved himself a nice little niche in the straight to DVD market. Is that a crime? Are these high caliber, big budget movies? No. But it's possible that the defendant hasn't had any juicy dramatic roles coming across his desk in a while. Sure, Red Tails was a disaster, but his turn as Nicky Barnes in 2007's American Gangster showed that the actor still has enough gas in the tank to showcase the goods. We understand the case against him is strong, but this year he's slated to act in Machete Kills, so is there any chance the court would be willing to give Mr. Gooding, Jr. one last shot to redeem himself?
IN CLOSING...
So, what’s to be done with Cuba Gooding Jr.? Did he squander his talent away to live a long, cold life in the straight to DVD wasteland? Are the straight to DVD movies really all that bad? Has anyone even fucking seen them? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into consideration, we ask you The Jury, is Cuba Gooding Jr. GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.
*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
It is the jury's decision that after reviewing last week's evidence, the court finds Al Pacino NOT GUILTY of all charges. Much like the Robert De Niro trial from a few months ago, the jury felt that Mr. Pacino's films far outweighed the good, though there were a few people here and there who felt that he needed a slap on the wrist to straighten him out.
| Extra Tidbit: | Who Should Take the Stand Next? Strike Back Below! |
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| Source: | JoBlo.com |
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Guilty
Brendan Fraser
Orlando Bloom
Paul Walker
Rob Schneider
Jamie Kennedy
Matthew Lillard
Steven Seagal
Kevin James
Christian Slater
Owen Wilson
You pick one
Brendan Fraser
Orlando Bloom
Paul Walker
Rob Schneider
Jamie Kennedy
Matthew Lillard
Steven Seagal
Kevin James
Christian Slater
Owen Wilson
You pick one
Guilty
oh so guilty
Guilty
Next week: Christian Slater, not even sure how I'd vote but mention it on the podcast and we'll all pump up the volume
Next week: Christian Slater, not even sure how I'd vote but mention it on the podcast and we'll all pump up the volume
Guilty
Next: John Woo
Next: John Woo
guilty
Guilty
death sentence
Guilty!
GUILTY
GUILTY
Next week: Keanu Reeves or Shia Lebouf or my all time least favorite actress Drew Barrymore
Next week: Keanu Reeves or Shia Lebouf or my all time least favorite actress Drew Barrymore
Guilty
Next week I say Jason Statham.
Next week I say Jason Statham.
What's with the double and triple posting?
Guilty
I remember a time when people said, "Cuba should've gotten a bigger part than Ben Affleck in "Pearl Harbor", he's way better than Affleck." Wow, did Affleck prove people wrong!
I remember a time when people said, "Cuba should've gotten a bigger part than Ben Affleck in "Pearl Harbor", he's way better than Affleck." Wow, did Affleck prove people wrong!
Guilty
I remember a time when people said, "Cuba should've gotten a bigger part than Ben Affleck in "Pearl Harbor", he's way better than Affleck." Wow, did Affleck prove people wrong!
I remember a time when people said, "Cuba should've gotten a bigger part than Ben Affleck in "Pearl Harbor", he's way better than Affleck." Wow, did Affleck prove people wrong!
Guilty
Regarding the tidbit for next week's defendant, I want to throw out the idea of bringing the Academy of Motion Pictures to trial for Oscar snubs and baffling award wins. The thought occurred to me with Affleck's snub for Best Director this year. It's just one in a long line of WTF award decisions in the 85 years of the Oscar's existence.
Regarding the tidbit for next week's defendant, I want to throw out the idea of bringing the Academy of Motion Pictures to trial for Oscar snubs and baffling award wins. The thought occurred to me with Affleck's snub for Best Director this year. It's just one in a long line of WTF award decisions in the 85 years of the Oscar's existence.
Guy hasn't done anything good in years!!!
Guy hasn't done anything good in years!!!
Guilty
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Guilty
Next should be John Cusack, have you seen The Raven? Damn that sucked!
Also quit putting movie icons like DeNiro & Pacino, who have been well established for years on the stand, it's pointless
Next should be John Cusack, have you seen The Raven? Damn that sucked!
Also quit putting movie icons like DeNiro & Pacino, who have been well established for years on the stand, it's pointless
Guilty
I love Rat Race.
Not Guilty
GUILTY
Guilty
Guilty!
Guilty.
Guilty
Not Guilty