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Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Owen Wilson!

Apr. 8, 2013by: Johnny Moreno

Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a Movie Jail trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the defendant is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of cinematic inconsistency or on the flipside, consistently being a stinking shithouse.

The Defendant


Owen Wilson

The Case

The Prosecution: Hall Pass, The Big Year, How Do You Know, Marmaduke, Little Fockers, year One, Drillbit Taylor, You Me & Dupree, Around the World in 80 Days, The Big Bounce, I Spy, Marley & Me*

Ladies and gentleman of the jury, while taking in the goodness that was Evil Dead this weekend, we were treated to a trailer for The Internship with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilso. It got us thinking, it's been a while since we've seen a solid Owen Wilson performance. And considering the court has already sent his co-star Vince Vaughn to Movie Jail, we feel it is in everyone's best interest that Mr. Wilson also be sent to said facilities. While the defendant has written and produced some quality movies and roles over the years, we feel he's left all there is on the table. We enjoyed Midnight in Paris, but that is but one bright spot in an otherwise shitty five year stretch. Perhaps some time in Movie Jail could set Mr. Wilson on the right path (i.e., more Wes Anderson collaborations) and break up the trend that he's been on for the past few years.


The Defense: Fantastic Mr. Fox, Midnight in Paris, Cars, The Darjeeling Limited, Night at the Museum, Wedding Crashers, The Royal Tenenbaums, Zoolander, Meet the Parents, Rushmore, Bottle Rocket *

Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, we feel our client, Mr. Wilson, deserves some leniency in this case. Has he had some clunkers in the past? Sure, but who hasn't? His last big release, Hall Pass, wasn't completely horrible, and generally, Mr. Wilson is good in whatever subpar movie he acts in. That counts for a lot in our book. Not to mention, his collaboration with Wes Anderson has created some of the best movies over the last decade. Just last week, we had Mr. Wilson's Marley & Me co-star Jennifer Aniston take the stand, and there were quite a few of people who moved for her dismissal. If the jury can find it in their movie going hearts to acquit Ms. Aniston (oops, spoiler), then surely they can dismiss Mr. Wilson's case. But we understand, Ms. Aniston has way better tits than Dignan does.


IN CLOSING...

So, whats to be done with Owen Wilson? Has he simply just had a bad few years and made a few bad choices? Should he be punished for that? Will a couple of years in Movie Jail do the lad some good? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into consideration, we ask you The Jury, is Owen Wilson GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?

Lets hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.

*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.

WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?


LAST WEEK'S VERDICT

It is the jury's decision that after reviewing last week's evidence, the court finds Jennifer Aniston NOT GUILTY of all charges. By only a handful of votes, the jury kept America's sweetheart out of Movie Jail, citing the quality of her movies not being completely "horrible", and also giving props to her overall hotness.

PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY NOT GUILTY
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Ice Cube
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Jennifer Aniston
Extra Tidbit: Who Should Take the Stand Next? Strike Back Below!
Source: JoBlo.com

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7:52PM on 04/09/2013

NOT GUILTY

He has made some bombs no doubt but when he is working with friends he is golden. Ben Stiller,, Wes Anderson, and yes even Vince Vaughn. If he sticks with those guys he can't fail. Plus he is a talented writer.
He has made some bombs no doubt but when he is working with friends he is golden. Ben Stiller,, Wes Anderson, and yes even Vince Vaughn. If he sticks with those guys he can't fail. Plus he is a talented writer.
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+4
6:20PM on 04/09/2013

Guilty

Send him to rehab. Not everything has to be like Wedding Crashers. But why is Marley & Me always for the prosecution?
Send him to rehab. Not everything has to be like Wedding Crashers. But why is Marley & Me always for the prosecution?
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11:59AM on 04/09/2013

Gullty

Behind Enemy Lines, Hall Pass, Cars 1 and 2, these movies were not good, and I really wanted to like Hall Pass. I find his constant whining voice to be annoying and although has done some real good movies, the stinkers really are what stick in my mind.
Behind Enemy Lines, Hall Pass, Cars 1 and 2, these movies were not good, and I really wanted to like Hall Pass. I find his constant whining voice to be annoying and although has done some real good movies, the stinkers really are what stick in my mind.
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11:50AM on 04/09/2013

Not Guilty

Owen Wilson has starred in some utter shit in the past, but excluding a few roles to help establish himself as back after his personal issues, I never felt like he was phoning it in or cashing in on his persona. Plus, he rocked the hell out 'Midnight In Paris'!
Owen Wilson has starred in some utter shit in the past, but excluding a few roles to help establish himself as back after his personal issues, I never felt like he was phoning it in or cashing in on his persona. Plus, he rocked the hell out 'Midnight In Paris'!
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10:45AM on 04/09/2013
This is a tough one. I'm going to go with GUILTY because it seems that unless he's in a Wes Anderson movie, he doesn't make very good films.
This is a tough one. I'm going to go with GUILTY because it seems that unless he's in a Wes Anderson movie, he doesn't make very good films.
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+0
10:39AM on 04/09/2013

LOCK HIM UP!

he is a horrible and repetitive actor who continues to remake the same film over and over. Lock him up, throw away the key!
he is a horrible and repetitive actor who continues to remake the same film over and over. Lock him up, throw away the key!
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7:58AM on 04/09/2013

Not Guilty

People like to cite the last 5 years but look at his personal life(depression,suicide attempt) during that period. Id imagine thatd impact his film choices
People like to cite the last 5 years but look at his personal life(depression,suicide attempt) during that period. Id imagine thatd impact his film choices
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7:35AM on 04/09/2013

Not guilty

I liked him in Midnight in paris.even Hall pass and Marley&me aren't that bad.what i like about him is,he is also a writer.he co-wrote Rushmore with Wes anderson.i respect him for that
I liked him in Midnight in paris.even Hall pass and Marley&me aren't that bad.what i like about him is,he is also a writer.he co-wrote Rushmore with Wes anderson.i respect him for that
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6:50AM on 04/09/2013
NOT GUILTY
SHANHGAI NOON
NOT GUILTY
SHANHGAI NOON
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6:03AM on 04/09/2013
Guilty. And so is his nose.
Guilty. And so is his nose.
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5:57AM on 04/09/2013

GUILTY

Yeah, he always does the same character. Put him in Jail.
Yeah, he always does the same character. Put him in Jail.
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3:12AM on 04/09/2013

not guilty

he is not really bad in leading roles but definitely better in more supporting roles like he did earlier in his career, but I guess if we put Vince Vaughn in then most likey Owen will be also.
he is not really bad in leading roles but definitely better in more supporting roles like he did earlier in his career, but I guess if we put Vince Vaughn in then most likey Owen will be also.
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+0
2:36AM on 04/09/2013

Not Guilty

I loved Shanghai Noon. Plus how can anyone consider putting Hansel in movie jail?
I loved Shanghai Noon. Plus how can anyone consider putting Hansel in movie jail?
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+1
2:16AM on 04/09/2013

guilty

Fry the fucker in Crisco.
Fry the fucker in Crisco.
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12:20AM on 04/09/2013

Not Guilty

Owen Wilson was funny in I Spy. Eddie Murphy was not and he's already in jail for it.
Owen Wilson was funny in I Spy. Eddie Murphy was not and he's already in jail for it.
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12:10AM on 04/09/2013

Not Guilty...

No cage can bind...THE BUTTERSCOTCH STALLION!!!!
No cage can bind...THE BUTTERSCOTCH STALLION!!!!
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11:37PM on 04/08/2013

Totally believable as a fighter pilot, too. Not.

Anyone else remember Behind Enemy Lines? Guilty as charged.
Anyone else remember Behind Enemy Lines? Guilty as charged.
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+2
10:11PM on 04/08/2013

Guilty

If Vince Vaughn went to jail, Owen Wilson has to go too. Yes, I love some of his films too, but the point of movie jail is to be sent there when you're f$$$ing up. The past five years have been bad, and the ratio of his bad films really outnumbers his good films (especially if you take out the animated ones). You can't vote not-guilty because he made two movies you love. Vote guilty, let him go to jail for a lighter sentence, think and refocus on his career, write some scripts, get his life
If Vince Vaughn went to jail, Owen Wilson has to go too. Yes, I love some of his films too, but the point of movie jail is to be sent there when you're f$$$ing up. The past five years have been bad, and the ratio of his bad films really outnumbers his good films (especially if you take out the animated ones). You can't vote not-guilty because he made two movies you love. Vote guilty, let him go to jail for a lighter sentence, think and refocus on his career, write some scripts, get his life back together, and come out and make MORE movies we love, not just 2 or 3. Also, have you SEEN the trailer for the internship?
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7:39PM on 04/08/2013

Not Guilty enough for Movie Jail

He isnt guilty enough to be in Movie Jail....but he is guilty of one thing....HE PLAYS THE SAME GUY in almost every movie...While I like a handful of his movies, it would be nice to see him step outside his movie career box and do movie roles that challenge him.
He isnt guilty enough to be in Movie Jail....but he is guilty of one thing....HE PLAYS THE SAME GUY in almost every movie...While I like a handful of his movies, it would be nice to see him step outside his movie career box and do movie roles that challenge him.
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+9
7:28PM on 04/08/2013

Bullshit

If Aniston doesn't get a conviction then this whole thing is a waste of time because no one will ever be found guilty.

As for Wilson, gotta say a qualified GUILTY. He is great in Wes Anderson films. They are the Scorsese/ DeNiro of quirk. Outside of that (along with Wedding Crashers & Zoolander) he has made a lot of bad movies and has been bad in them. It seems like he just says yes to everything. That works if you are Sam Jackson but not Owen Wilson.
If Aniston doesn't get a conviction then this whole thing is a waste of time because no one will ever be found guilty.

As for Wilson, gotta say a qualified GUILTY. He is great in Wes Anderson films. They are the Scorsese/ DeNiro of quirk. Outside of that (along with Wedding Crashers & Zoolander) he has made a lot of bad movies and has been bad in them. It seems like he just says yes to everything. That works if you are Sam Jackson but not Owen Wilson.
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6:58PM on 04/08/2013

Not guilty

He's had bad films, but he's normally good in them. And he's always been able to crack me up when he's at the top of his game, even in minor roles (Armageddon anyone?).

Next week should be George Lucas. How has one of the most polarizing people on the internet not been on trial yet? He gets a lot of hate for the prequels and Indy 4, but he did give the world 2 of the best film franchises.
He's had bad films, but he's normally good in them. And he's always been able to crack me up when he's at the top of his game, even in minor roles (Armageddon anyone?).

Next week should be George Lucas. How has one of the most polarizing people on the internet not been on trial yet? He gets a lot of hate for the prequels and Indy 4, but he did give the world 2 of the best film franchises.
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6:31PM on 04/08/2013

GUILTY!!!!

The dude is guilty as sin! He can't act to save his life, and the only reason he's got any cred in Hollywood, is (a) his bro-Luke Wilson-great actor-just can't seem to land a good roll, and (b) his friendship with Ben Stiller.

Now, with that being said, let the negative hits begin!
The dude is guilty as sin! He can't act to save his life, and the only reason he's got any cred in Hollywood, is (a) his bro-Luke Wilson-great actor-just can't seem to land a good roll, and (b) his friendship with Ben Stiller.

Now, with that being said, let the negative hits begin!
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7:19PM on 04/08/2013
I take it you're not a huge Wes Anderson fan?
I take it you're not a huge Wes Anderson fan?
7:32PM on 04/08/2013
I agree that he is guilty, but I would argue a couple of your points. Luke Wilson has never been bigger than Owen. They both started in Bottle Rocket, but Owen has always been the bigger star. If either of them owe their careers to anyone it is Wes Anderson. A lot of people forget, but Owen Wilson was a co-writer on Bottle Rocket, Rushmore and The Royal Tennanbaums.
I agree that he is guilty, but I would argue a couple of your points. Luke Wilson has never been bigger than Owen. They both started in Bottle Rocket, but Owen has always been the bigger star. If either of them owe their careers to anyone it is Wes Anderson. A lot of people forget, but Owen Wilson was a co-writer on Bottle Rocket, Rushmore and The Royal Tennanbaums.
3:14AM on 04/09/2013
I always find it funny when so called regular people question a persons acting ability, it's such a cop out argument.
I always find it funny when so called regular people question a persons acting ability, it's such a cop out argument.
+0
5:32PM on 04/08/2013
Not guilty. While he's had some bad comedies, the majority of his work has at least been pleasant. And we know he can act, at the very least by his films done with Wes Anderson. Owen is usually a safe actor, but in that respect, he's a guy who you never really cringe about seeing on screen.
Not guilty. While he's had some bad comedies, the majority of his work has at least been pleasant. And we know he can act, at the very least by his films done with Wes Anderson. Owen is usually a safe actor, but in that respect, he's a guy who you never really cringe about seeing on screen.
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5:30PM on 04/08/2013

Not guilty

"The Nose" is one of the most likable character actor around. Not even a case.
"The Nose" is one of the most likable character actor around. Not even a case.
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12:29PM on 04/09/2013
But he isn't a character actor. He plays the same character in every role: himself. I like him, but he isn't a great actor.
But he isn't a character actor. He plays the same character in every role: himself. I like him, but he isn't a great actor.
4:42PM on 04/08/2013

Not Guilty

but he needs to grow up. He can't play the party guy anymore. I think his upcoming film "The Internship" will deal alot with him having to be more mature
but he needs to grow up. He can't play the party guy anymore. I think his upcoming film "The Internship" will deal alot with him having to be more mature
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4:10PM on 04/08/2013

On another day, I would have convicted him.

Today: I will not do so. He's not guilty. Sure, most of his stuff isn't good, if it wasn't for Wes Anderson or Ben Stiller I would have no clue who this guy is and there are very few things I really like him in myself. However, he's not breaking the law. He may not be my cup of tea, but then I don't drink tea at all.
Today: I will not do so. He's not guilty. Sure, most of his stuff isn't good, if it wasn't for Wes Anderson or Ben Stiller I would have no clue who this guy is and there are very few things I really like him in myself. However, he's not breaking the law. He may not be my cup of tea, but then I don't drink tea at all.
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4:08PM on 04/08/2013

Guilty

I don't see how he's not guilty. Yes he's not a horrible actor or anything but he rarely chooses roles beyond te usual comedy/romantic comedy. Even midnight in Paris which was good was roughly the same thing. And the comedies he is in all seem to go the Aniston/Ben stiller route in that there's not muc difference in characters rather just a different setting.
While he has starred in some damn good comedies it really seems like he's the reason for the greatness of the comedy or like he's
I don't see how he's not guilty. Yes he's not a horrible actor or anything but he rarely chooses roles beyond te usual comedy/romantic comedy. Even midnight in Paris which was good was roughly the same thing. And the comedies he is in all seem to go the Aniston/Ben stiller route in that there's not muc difference in characters rather just a different setting.
While he has starred in some damn good comedies it really seems like he's the reason for the greatness of the comedy or like he's adding anything to it. At least Stiller has the straight man part down. Owen seems to just let the zaniness of the plot and other characters work around him.
Prosecution asks for jail time to be decided and rehabilitation program possibilities.
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3:53PM on 04/08/2013
Not Guilty

While he has been inconsistent as hell, his duds are pretty damn bad. I just don't think we can justify putting him behind bars because his stronger works are great. Maybe probation for this man but not movie jail
Not Guilty

While he has been inconsistent as hell, his duds are pretty damn bad. I just don't think we can justify putting him behind bars because his stronger works are great. Maybe probation for this man but not movie jail
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3:34PM on 04/08/2013
Not guilty, but certainly needs some kind of community service deal for a few of those movies. Wedding Crashers and Royal Tanenbaums will always keep him out of jail, though.
Not guilty, but certainly needs some kind of community service deal for a few of those movies. Wedding Crashers and Royal Tanenbaums will always keep him out of jail, though.
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3:32PM on 04/08/2013

50/50 leaning toward Not Guilty

I'm not a huge fan of Owen WIlson. He works better in smaller doses but when teamed up with Vince Vaughn or Ben Stiller he has his moments. I liked him in The Royal Tenenbaums, his voice work in Cars, ended up liking the last half of You, Me & Dupree and also enjoyed his roles in the Night at the Museum movies as, sorry for the pun, "little" as they were. He's funnier being slightly goofy but could do some really serious acting if/when he wants.
I'm not a huge fan of Owen WIlson. He works better in smaller doses but when teamed up with Vince Vaughn or Ben Stiller he has his moments. I liked him in The Royal Tenenbaums, his voice work in Cars, ended up liking the last half of You, Me & Dupree and also enjoyed his roles in the Night at the Museum movies as, sorry for the pun, "little" as they were. He's funnier being slightly goofy but could do some really serious acting if/when he wants.
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3:30PM on 04/08/2013

Not Guilty

put Josh Brolin on the stand next !
put Josh Brolin on the stand next !
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8:34PM on 04/08/2013
Why?
Why?
3:24PM on 04/08/2013
Not Guilty.
He's a funny guy!
Not Guilty.
He's a funny guy!
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3:22PM on 04/08/2013

Woh... Jen Aniston NOT GUILTY?!?!?

That blew my mind.
That blew my mind.
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3:22PM on 04/08/2013

Guilty fo sho

Parole in 5 years
Parole in 5 years
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3:15PM on 04/08/2013

Who takes the stand next...

Bruce Willis
Bruce Willis
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2:50PM on 04/08/2013

Ehhhhhhh.....I guess not guilty.

I don't think the guy is funny at all but he is likeable in his roles. "Zoolander" is the only movie he ever made me laugh in.

And I can't believe Aniston wasn't found guilty, that's insane. Sure she's hot but that didn't save Katherine Heigl.
I don't think the guy is funny at all but he is likeable in his roles. "Zoolander" is the only movie he ever made me laugh in.

And I can't believe Aniston wasn't found guilty, that's insane. Sure she's hot but that didn't save Katherine Heigl.
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2:49PM on 04/08/2013

Not Guilty

He is what he is. Comedic and oblivious about it. He has a unique delivery in all his funny roles, and they play that up perfectly. He's funny and his films are watchable.
He is what he is. Comedic and oblivious about it. He has a unique delivery in all his funny roles, and they play that up perfectly. He's funny and his films are watchable.
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2:37PM on 04/08/2013

Not Guilty

I'm actually surprised that he's on trial. Did someone actually recommend him? To be fair, about a decade ago I was ready to blame him for what I felt like was the downfall of Ben Stiller (somewhere around Meet the Parents he started playing the same role, usually opposite Wilson, though I feel like he's done a lot of good since). But Owen Wilson is one charming mofo. What he isn't is a comedian. He's just an everyman who is good at playing up the lightness of a scene. That a few short years
I'm actually surprised that he's on trial. Did someone actually recommend him? To be fair, about a decade ago I was ready to blame him for what I felt like was the downfall of Ben Stiller (somewhere around Meet the Parents he started playing the same role, usually opposite Wilson, though I feel like he's done a lot of good since). But Owen Wilson is one charming mofo. What he isn't is a comedian. He's just an everyman who is good at playing up the lightness of a scene. That a few short years ago it felt like everyone was shoving him down our throats is not something I really hold him responsible for. As for The Internship, it only makes sense that those two actors would try to recreate the success of their breakout hit "The Wedding Crashers." They just wound up with what looks like the wrong script to do that. When everyone in the room knows the jokes, then it's not funny.
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2:32PM on 04/08/2013
Borderline, but I'm going with Not guilty...
Borderline, but I'm going with Not guilty...
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2:31PM on 04/08/2013

Guilty

His schtick is grating and has been the same since the get go, surprised by all the support here, he hasn't done anything significant in the past several years, throw him in the pen please.
His schtick is grating and has been the same since the get go, surprised by all the support here, he hasn't done anything significant in the past several years, throw him in the pen please.
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1:51PM on 04/08/2013

Not Guilty

Bring us Zoolander 2!
Bring us Zoolander 2!
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+1
1:38PM on 04/08/2013

Not guilty

He was pretty good in Behind Enemy Lines. He's alright.
He was pretty good in Behind Enemy Lines. He's alright.
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1:26PM on 04/08/2013

Not guilty

Hall Pass shouldn't be listed with his shittier movies. That movie gets funnier every time I see it.
Hall Pass shouldn't be listed with his shittier movies. That movie gets funnier every time I see it.
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1:23PM on 04/08/2013
Not Guilty.

For crying out loud, there's actual movie criminals out there. Want to do some good, put the entire cast of Scary Movie V in front of a war crimes tribunal.
Not Guilty.

For crying out loud, there's actual movie criminals out there. Want to do some good, put the entire cast of Scary Movie V in front of a war crimes tribunal.
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2:18PM on 04/08/2013
I'm pretty sure Scary Movie V IS movie-jail.
I'm pretty sure Scary Movie V IS movie-jail.
1:19PM on 04/08/2013
Not guilty. He's done plenty of stinkers, but but enough to override the sizable amount of gems he's done.
Not guilty. He's done plenty of stinkers, but but enough to override the sizable amount of gems he's done.
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1:12PM on 04/08/2013

Not Guilty

No way he should be considered. Likeable guy that plays likeable characters.
No way he should be considered. Likeable guy that plays likeable characters.
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1:20PM on 04/08/2013
*Not enough.
*Not enough.
1:03PM on 04/08/2013

Not Guilty

This is silly. Of course he is not guilty.
This is silly. Of course he is not guilty.
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1:03PM on 04/08/2013

Not Guilty

A likable presence and didn't necessarily fall into 'playing the same character' roles that Vince fell into.

Bruce Willis needs to be next. I keep perusing through the DVD section at the store and seeing a bunch of direct-to-video actioners I've never heard of with him on the cover. He's gotten awfully lazy lately.
A likable presence and didn't necessarily fall into 'playing the same character' roles that Vince fell into.

Bruce Willis needs to be next. I keep perusing through the DVD section at the store and seeing a bunch of direct-to-video actioners I've never heard of with him on the cover. He's gotten awfully lazy lately.
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1:01PM on 04/08/2013

Not Gulity.

His collaborations with Wes Anderson will always make him not guilty for me. The guy is funny and is usually one of the best parts of the film he stars in.

And Hall Pass was funny. I don't understand why you put it in with his sub par films.
His collaborations with Wes Anderson will always make him not guilty for me. The guy is funny and is usually one of the best parts of the film he stars in.

And Hall Pass was funny. I don't understand why you put it in with his sub par films.
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3:19AM on 04/09/2013
agreed I was surprised how hilarious Hall Pass is
agreed I was surprised how hilarious Hall Pass is
+4
12:53PM on 04/08/2013

Not Guilty

Always love Owen.
Always love Owen.
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+11
12:52PM on 04/08/2013

ELI CASH??????

A thousand times over, not guilty.

Not only has he starred and co-written in some of my favorite movies, but he's generally the most charismatic and likeable person in any movie he's in. Almost every comedic actor of this generation is going to have to star in some stinkers along the way since there just aren't a ton of great comedy scripts out there. But come on. The man was Eli Cash. And Dignan. And Hansel. And Francis L. Whitman. And Ned Plimpton. And the guy who gets beat up in the
A thousand times over, not guilty.

Not only has he starred and co-written in some of my favorite movies, but he's generally the most charismatic and likeable person in any movie he's in. Almost every comedic actor of this generation is going to have to star in some stinkers along the way since there just aren't a ton of great comedy scripts out there. But come on. The man was Eli Cash. And Dignan. And Hansel. And Francis L. Whitman. And Ned Plimpton. And the guy who gets beat up in the bathroom. I rest my case.
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