Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Jennifer Aniston!
Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a Movie Jail trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the defendant is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of cinematic inconsistency or on the flipside, consistently being a stinking shithouse.
The Prosecution: Bounty Hunters, Love Happens, Rumor Has it, Love Happens, He's Just Not That Into You, The Object of My Affection, Marley & Me, Along Came Polly, fuck it any rom com from the 90s*
Ladies and gentleman of the jury, while looking over prospective Movie Jail contenders, the main man, JoBlo himself, suggested that the prosecuting attorneys look at the case of Ms. Jennifer Aniston. While we initially didn't think one way or another about Ms. Aniston, after reviewing the cavalcade of shit she's recently been in, we think a stint in the slammer is in order. We all loved Ms. Aniston's "oh gosh", sometimes goofy, girl next door demeanor growing up. She had some interesting choices earlier in her career, but over the last few years, it seems she's relegated herself to safe rom com fare. We understand that someone has to do it, but some of the flicks she's been in are just plain bad with predictable characters and horrible scripts. We think some time in Movie Jail could set her on the straight and narrow, and give us more Horrible Bosses style performances.
The Defense: She's the One, Rock Star, Office Space, Leprechaun, Derailed, The Break Up, Bruce Almighty, Horrible Bosses *
Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, what does the prosecution have against beautiful women filling rom com roles in Hollywood? Ms. Aniston is a staple of 90s entertainment and though she may have slipped into a safety net of romantic comedy films, we think she's pretty damn good at filling that role. We also think her turn as the sexy as all hell doctor in Horrible Bosses is enough to give her amnesty for another few years. How about we acquit Ms. Aniston of all charges and give her a chance at making another Horrible Bosses or something equally groovy? Also, for what it is, Marley & Me ain't so bad. -*Editor's Note: The fuck?
So, what’s to be done with Jennifer Aniston? Is her incarceration long overdue? Can she bounce back and deliver quality performances again? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into consideration, we ask you The Jury, is Jennifer Aniston GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
Let’s hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.
*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
It is the jury's decision that after reviewing last week's evidence, the court finds Tyler Perry GUILTY of all charges. Sure, you may have a niche audience Mr. Perry, but you've completely lost the rest of us.
|Extra Tidbit:||Who Should Take the Stand Next? Strike Back Below!|