Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Mila Kunis!
This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Prosecution: Jupiter Ascending, The Angriest Man in Brooklyn, Third Person, The Color of Time, Oz The Great and Powerful, Max Payne, Moving McAllister
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Mila Kunis is a popular and seemingly down-to-earth actress, which is why the prosecution is just a tad worried about her career. In the five years since her well-received performance in Black Swan, Miss Kunis has only starred in two fresh rated films, and overall the prosecution hasn't been impressed with her movies as of late.
Jupiter Ascending is just the most recent negatively reviewed film featuring the actress. Besides being panned by critics, her The Angriest Man in Brooklyn, Third Person and The Color of Time were also ignored by moviegoers.
Miss Kunis has done a fine job in most of her post-Black Swan roles (she wasn't great in Oz The Great and Powerful, but one could argue she was miscast in the Sam Raimi film) and she's a solid actress, however the prosecution would like to see her appear in better projects. It's not as if these films have killed her career, but they definitely haven't helped it either. While the prosecution doesn't think Miss Kunis needs to serve a long sentence, we do believe she should spend some time behind bars.
The Defense: Blood Ties, Ted, Friends with Benefits, Black Swan, The Book of Eli, Extract, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, That '70s Show, Family Guy
Ladies and gentlemen, the defense is fairly certain the prosecution is using the "I'm concerned about her career" argument as an excuse to look up half-naked pictures of my client. Miss Kunis' films as of late haven't been fantastic, but there's no need to lock the actress up in Movie Jail.
Ted and Friends with Benefits both featured entertaining performances by Miss Kunis, and the defense loved her cameo in Date Night. And who here didn't want to date the actress after seeing her in Forgetting Sarah Marshall? When you also take into account her fun TV work (That '70s Show, Family Guy and Robot Chicken), it's obvious Miss Kunis doesn't belong in prison.
Let's not forget my client is still a fairly young actress, and the defense doesn't believe her recent failures will have a negative long-term impact on her career. A good comparison might be Miss Kunis' Forgetting Sarah Marshall co-star Kristen Bell: Both are attractive, well-liked actresses who don't always appear in the best films. But just like Miss Bell, my client doesn't deserve to be locked up, and the defense is quite confident that the jury will agree.
Does Miss Kunis have a bright future ahead of her, or do you think tossing the actress in the slammer will do her some good? Do you think the prosecution has a case against the Black Swan star, or is he just picking on her because of Jupiter Ascending's failures? Is Mila Kunis GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
It was closer than you might expect, considering The Wachowski's last three movies have bombed at the box office and received mostly negative reviews from critics, but the duo were found GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial. Many jury members said they still think The Wachowski Siblings are innovative filmmakers though, and they'd like to see them make a comeback, so maybe we'll do an update on The Matrix directors once their Netflix series Sense8 is released.
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Luc Besson, Jason Reitman
UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith & Chris Rock
|Extra Tidbit:||Who should stand trial next week? Share your suggestions for actors, directors and writers below with your verdict!|