The Globes Wrap-Up!

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So did you all watch the GOLDEN GLOBES last night? I walked in and out of the room all night, skipping most of the boring TV shit like those Desperate ladies winning some awards and "Lost" being hailed as the greatest TV show of all-time (!!), to see a ton of predictable winners for all the top movie prizes (I scored 6 out of 6 on the main awards), including a trans-sexual character winning Best Actress, a gay writer character winning Best Actor and the "gay cowboy" movie winning Best Movie. The so-called "Gay Mafia" rules, baby!!

Homosexual themes aside though, was I the only one surprised to find out that the winning of a Foreign Picture award apparently means that the Foreign Press automatically believes that your people also "deserve their liberty and equality unconditionally." I'm just curious as to where on the award that's specified...hmmmm.

Yeah, I know...I'm being a dick, but I'm watching the party-up Globe awards because most people are drunk and it's a light affair -- I hate when someone takes that opportunity to stand on their soapbox, etc... -- kinda like I'm doing right here...right now.

VOTE FOR YOUR NOMINATIONS RIGHT NOW!!!

Serious crap aside though, the night was filled with some pretty humorous speeches, coming mostly from the TV side of things, including House's Hugh Laurie (holy shit, he's British!) and The Office's great Steve Carell. The night's most stoned winner was neck-and-neck between the dude who portrayed Elvis in the mini-series (holy shit, he's British!), Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, and the man who portrayed Johnny Cash in the movie WALK THE LINE, Joaquin Phoenix, but I'd give that one to Phoenix...despite the photo finish (at least, try to hide the fact that you're plastered, boys...for the kids).

Reese Witherspoon's husband (read: hanger-on) also made a fool of himself with a little too much drunkedness (dude, sit down...the man's trying to make a speech) as did Chad Lowe when he cried as Hillary Swank was accepting her award-- oops, sorry...that was the Oscars a few years ago. Still resonates though...cry-baby!!

Seriously Reesey, can you score me some shit?

Other things confirmed to me during the night included:

• Clint Eastwood is still very cool
• Reese Witherspoon remains adorable
• Harrison Ford looks neat in a beard
• Mariah Carey is turning into a ball
• George Clooney is a class act
• I love Darren Aronofksy as well
• Ang Lee isn't gay!!
• Chris Rock is a funny man
• Penelope Cruz talks funny
• Pamela Anderson has got massively fake boobs
• I want to live in Paul Giamatti's beard
• Patricia Arquette is a babe
• Natalie Portman looks like a little French boy
• Zelwegger's starting to look "normal" again
• I want to live in Queen Latifah's cleavage
• Matthew Broderick will never age
• Mira Sorvino is still alive
• Tom Cruise wasn't there, but he's still creepy
• Maria Bello is a babe...
• So is Viggo Mortensen
• I want to "get to know" Mandy Moore better
• Eva Longoria is waaaaaaay overrated
• Leo DiCaprio is waaaaaaaaay underrated
• Kate Beckinsale = a hot lady
• Don Johnson should get back with Melanie Griffin
• I want to make out with Johnny Depp...again
• Adrien Brody is looking weird
• Was that Ludacris?
• Lisa Rinna loves her own body
• I love Keira Knightley's...teeth
• Matt Dillon will never age
• Anthony Hopkins is weird
• Gwyneth Paltow's preggers again. Apple meet Banana.
• I don't like Jessica Alba's boyfriend
• I'm changing my name to "Cash" tomorrow
• I'm still a big fan of Nancy O'Dell
• Pat O'Brien is messed up...but in a good way
• I love Steven Spielberg
• JoBlo.com got robbed!!

And last but certainly not least, suffice it to say that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's offspring is gonna be a damn looker! Neither actor was there last night and this has nothing to do with the award ceremonies per se, but it's a fact of life that I just thought to share with you all. Wow....can't wait to see that stuff!

WINNERS BELOW!!

Best Picture - Drama
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
THE CONSTANT GARDENER
GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK.
A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
MATCH POINT

Best Picture - Musical or Comedy
THE SQUID AND THE WHALE
THE PRODUCERS
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
WALK THE LINE
MRS. HENDERSON PRESENTS

Actor in a Leading Role - Drama
Philip Seymour Hoffman, CAPOTE
Heath Ledger, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
Russell Crowe, CINDERELLA MAN
Terrence Howard, HUSTLE AND FLOW
David Strathairn, GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK.

Actor in a Leading Role - Musical or Comedy
Johnny Depp, CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
Nathan Lane, THE PRODUCERS
Pierce Brosnan, THE MATADOR
Cillian Murphy, BREAKFAST ON PLUTO
Joaquin Phoenix, WALK THE LINE

Actress in a Leading Role - Drama
Gwyneth Paltrow, PROOF
Maria Bello, A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
Felicity Huffman, TRANSAMERICA
Charlize Theron, NORTH COUNTRY
Zhang Ziyi, MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA

Actress in a Leading Role - Musical or Comedy
Reese Witherspoon, WALK THE LINE
Keira Knightley, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Laura Linney, THE SQUID AND THE WHALE
Judi Dench, MRS. HENDERSON PRESENTS
Sarah Jessica Parker, THE FAMILY STONE

Best Director
Steven Spielberg, MUNICH
Ang Lee, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
Fernando Meirelles, THE CONSTANT GARDENER
George Clooney, GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK.
Peter Jackson, KING KONG
Woody Allen, MATCH POINT

Actor in a Supporting Role
Paul Giamatti, CINDERELLA MAN
George Clooney, SYRIANA
Will Ferrell, THE PRODUCERS
Matt Dillon, CRASH
Bob Hoskins, MRS. HENDERSON PRESENTS

Actress in a Supporting Role
Rachel Weisz, THE CONSTANT GARDENER
Shirley MacLaine, IN HER SHOES
Frances McDormand, NORTH COUNTRY
Michelle Williams, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
Scarlett Johansson, MATCH POINT

Best Screenplay
Woody Allen, MATCH POINT
George Clooney & Grant Heslov, GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK
Paul Haggis & Bobby MOresco, CRASH
Tony Kushner & Eric Roth, MUNICH
Larry McMurtry & Diana Ossana, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

Best Original Score
Alexandre Desplat, SYRIANA
James Newton Howard, KING KONG
Gustavo Santaolalla, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
Harry Gregson-Williams, THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE
John Williams, MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA

Best Original Song
“A Love That Will Never Grow Old” - BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, Music by: Gustavo Santaolalla, Lyrics by: Bernie Taupin
“Christmas In Love” — CHRISTMAS IN LOVE, Music by: Tony Renis, Lyrics by: Marva Jan Marrow
“There’s Nothing Like A Show On Broadway” — THE PRODUCERS, Music & Lyrics by: Mel Brooks
“Travelin’ Thru” — TRANSAMERICA, Music & Lyrics by: Dolly Parton
“Wunderkind” — THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE, Music & Lyrics by: Alanis Morissette

Best Foreign Film
KUNG FU HUSTLE
MASTER OF THE CRIMSON ARMOR aka THE PROMISE
MERRY CHRISTMAS (JOYEUX NOEL)
PARADISE NOW
TSOTSI

Source: JoBlo.com