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Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Chris Hemsworth!

01.11.2016

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This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.

The Defendant

Chris Hemsworth

The Case

The Prosecution: In the Heart of the Sea, Vacation, Blackhat, Snow White and the Huntsman, Red Dawn, Ca$h

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, although Chris Hemsworth has become a well-known actor since being tapped to play Thor, he really hasn't had that much success outside of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Avengers: Age of Ultron may have done well critically and financially, however Mr. Hemsworth's other 2015 releases, Vacation, In the Heart of the Sea and Blackhat, scored mostly mixed-to-negative reviews, and the latter two also underperformed at the box office.

Mr. Hemsworth wasn't the reason why those films failed with critics and in theaters, but he isn't the strongest of actors, and it certainly showed in Blackhat. There are many who think the Thor movies are the worst in the MCU, and some feel his portrayal of the Asgardian warrior is bland and boring. Mr. Hemsworth also doesn't have a great eye when it comes to picking movie projects. It remains to be seen how his Snow White and the Huntsman spinoff and Paul Feig's Ghostbusters will turn out, but people definitely aren't high on either upcoming film.

The prosecution isn't calling for a lengthy Movie Jail sentence for Mr. Hemsworth, but he should spend a minimum of three months in prison for his limited acting abilities and questionable film roles.

Blackhat Chris Hemsworth

The Defense: Avengers: Age of Ultron, Thor: The Dark World, Rush, The Avengers, The Cabin in the Woods, Thor, A Perfect Getaway

Ladies and gentlemen, while it's true that several of my client's movies (where he's not playing Thor) have left a lot to be desired, the defense doesn't think he deserves imprisonment. His Marvel role may have made him a star, but unlike his fellow main Avengers actors, Mr. Hemsworth was virtually unknown before being cast as the comic book character, which may explain why he's had trouble breaking out on his own.

But it's not like Mr. Hemsworth has been slumming it in generic rom-coms and action flicks. Blackhat and In the Heart of the Sea were both by established and accomplished filmmakers, and it could be argued that his was simply miscast in Michael Mann's movie. My client isn't the greatest actor in the world, however he did receive praise for his performance in Rush, and seems to have a knack for comedy.

Mr. Hemsworth's filmography is pretty hit-or-miss and he may lack range as an actor, but my client still has a very bright future ahead of him, and we should give the him a few more chances before sending him to Movie Jail.

Rush Chris Hemsworth

IN CLOSING...

What should we do with the hunky Marvel actor? Do we need to put Mr. Hemsworth behind bars, or is it still too early in his career to lock him up? Is Chris Hemsworth GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?

*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.

WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?

Vacation Chris Hemsworth

LAST WEEK'S VERDICT

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues Will Ferrell

Will Ferrell was found NOT GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial, with an overwhelming majority of the jury saying he doesn't belong in Movie Jail. Jury members said although not all of Mr. Ferrell's movies have been winners, he's still is one of the funniest actors working today, and that they would take him over the likes of Adam Sandler or Mike Myers.

PREVIOUS VERDICTS

GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings, Kate Bosworth, Garry Marshall, David Goyer, Akiva Goldsman, Avi Arad, Damon Lindelof, Hayden Christensen, Dennis Dugan, Sharon Stone, Jessica Biel, Nick Swardson, Simon Kinberg, Alex & Stephen Kendrick, Eli Roth, Paranormal Activity Franchise (Halloween Edition), Kevin Hart

NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Luc Besson, Jason Reitman, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Connelly, Sienna Miller, Ben Barnes, Simon West, Len Wiseman, Brendan Fraser, Megan Fox, Neal McDonough, Cameron Crowe, Katie Holmes, Elijah Wood, Tarsem Singh, Reese Witherspoon, Burt Reynolds, Ed Helms, Sean Astin, Michael Polish, Kelsey Grammer, Queen Latifah, Mark Wahlberg, Vin Diesel, Barry Levinson, Aaron Eckhart, Luke Wilson, Martin Campbell, Blumhouse Productions, Tim Allen, Justin Long, Will Ferrell

UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith & Chris Rock, Ice Cube, Owen Wilson & Vince Vaughn

Extra Tidbit: Who should stand trial next week? Share your suggestions for actors, directors and writers below with your verdict!
Source: JoBlo.com

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9:34AM on 01/12/2016
Not Guilty, thou outside the Marvel films his track record has been ordinary when it comes to the box office most of those films have been o.k they have just failed to find an audience.
Not Guilty, thou outside the Marvel films his track record has been ordinary when it comes to the box office most of those films have been o.k they have just failed to find an audience.
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4:32AM on 01/12/2016
Judge should be aware that the prosecuter himself rated "In the Heart of the Sea" a 7 out of 10, while calling it " a well-made historical drama" and calling the defended "a good actor".... exhibit A: [link]

Snowwhite and the Huntsman even received a 8/10 whilst calling the defended a "a fine huntsman" and "kind of perfect for these parts" Exhibit B: [link]

De prosecuter also rewarded "Blackhat" with a 8 out 10, while calling Hemsworth " well up to the task of headlining a Mann-movie"
Judge should be aware that the prosecuter himself rated "In the Heart of the Sea" a 7 out of 10, while calling it " a well-made historical drama" and calling the defended "a good actor".... exhibit A: [link]

Snowwhite and the Huntsman even received a 8/10 whilst calling the defended a "a fine huntsman" and "kind of perfect for these parts" Exhibit B: [link]

De prosecuter also rewarded "Blackhat" with a 8 out 10, while calling Hemsworth " well up to the task of headlining a Mann-movie" Exhibit C: [link]

The prosecuter did rate Vacation a 4 out of 10, but he also called the the defendend's smaller part in "Vacation" "good". Exhibit D:
[link]

And last but not least, he rated Red Dawn a well earned 3 out of 10, yet again calling him "actually pretty good" Exhibit E: [link]

Let's not waste the judge's time, and the taxpayer anymore money. This prosecuter should be removed from the bar, and should never practise law again.
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9:53AM on 01/17/2016
You might want to check the name of the author at the top because the prosecutor didn't review those movies ;)
You might want to check the name of the author at the top because the prosecutor didn't review those movies ;)
3:35AM on 01/12/2016

Not Guilty

In the Heart of the Sea
Blackhat
Rush
3 very underrated movies, not even close to being guilty.
In the Heart of the Sea
Blackhat
Rush
3 very underrated movies, not even close to being guilty.
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8:13PM on 01/11/2016

Not Guilty

It's still pretty early in his career.
It's still pretty early in his career.
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+0
6:54PM on 01/11/2016

Not Guilty

Just an idea: maybe instead of being a weekly column, "Movie Jail" runs only after an actor has a flop, and commenters decide if this said flop is merely a small scuff on an actor's sterling reputation, or one flop too many. Some would be obvious like Adam Sandler or, on the contrary, someone like RDJ or Hugh Jackman, then some would be ambiguous. I just feel that doing this weekly is going to produce a lot of the reactions you see below: "uhh, what? Why is he on trial?"
Just an idea: maybe instead of being a weekly column, "Movie Jail" runs only after an actor has a flop, and commenters decide if this said flop is merely a small scuff on an actor's sterling reputation, or one flop too many. Some would be obvious like Adam Sandler or, on the contrary, someone like RDJ or Hugh Jackman, then some would be ambiguous. I just feel that doing this weekly is going to produce a lot of the reactions you see below: "uhh, what? Why is he on trial?"
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5:04PM on 01/11/2016
So let me get this straight, a guy with a handful of movies who was thrust into the leading man spotlight with Thor and is still trying to find his place in the film world, you're putting on trial for a couple questionable choices at worst? First show me a single established or up and coming actor that would turn down a chance to work with Mann or Howard? Let me know when you find a single one because you won't. Not to mention both of those movies were incredibly entertaining for me. Now I will
So let me get this straight, a guy with a handful of movies who was thrust into the leading man spotlight with Thor and is still trying to find his place in the film world, you're putting on trial for a couple questionable choices at worst? First show me a single established or up and coming actor that would turn down a chance to work with Mann or Howard? Let me know when you find a single one because you won't. Not to mention both of those movies were incredibly entertaining for me. Now I will say he was probably miscast in Blackhat. I am in the tech world and workout hard, but I am not hacker that lives and breathes code, though of all the people that I know that are code monkeys and/or hackers not a single one of them has the bodybuilder look of Hemsworth. But I still enjoyed the movie. Rush was a great showcase of his skills as well. Sorry putting this man on trial just showed that this court is a joke now.
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+3
2:08PM on 01/11/2016
The prosecution has brought a case to this court that is a sham, a mockery! etc, etc.
It should be thrown out at once as they are simply using the name of a popular actor to bring more attention to their practice. For shame!
The prosecution has brought a case to this court that is a sham, a mockery! etc, etc.
It should be thrown out at once as they are simply using the name of a popular actor to bring more attention to their practice. For shame!
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1:21PM on 01/11/2016

Not Guilty

I don't think we've seen enough of him outside of the MCU to put him up for any time in Movie Jail. He's definitely on the brink though.
I don't think we've seen enough of him outside of the MCU to put him up for any time in Movie Jail. He's definitely on the brink though.
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+0
12:09PM on 01/11/2016

Rush is a very good movie.

Not guilty.


But I agree with "Jules the Bum". To early. He is too young.
Not guilty.


But I agree with "Jules the Bum". To early. He is too young.
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+2
11:31AM on 01/11/2016

Not Guilty

All of his films as Thor and Cabin in the Woods are plenty to get him off the hook!
All of his films as Thor and Cabin in the Woods are plenty to get him off the hook!
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10:48AM on 01/11/2016
MOVIE JAIL: THIS WEEK'S DEFENDANT IS....MOVIE JAIL

Guilty
MOVIE JAIL: THIS WEEK'S DEFENDANT IS....MOVIE JAIL

Guilty
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10:29AM on 01/11/2016
Not guilty, but I think he played Thor as if Thor has two braincells.
Not guilty, but I think he played Thor as if Thor has two braincells.
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+1
10:22AM on 01/11/2016

NOT GUILTY

In the Heart of the Sea for the The Prosecution? Why? Because it flopped? As a viewer, i don't care, it was a good film!

Also, like others said, way to early for his trail.
In the Heart of the Sea for the The Prosecution? Why? Because it flopped? As a viewer, i don't care, it was a good film!

Also, like others said, way to early for his trail.
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2:03PM on 01/11/2016
90% of the time, the movies are separated in the 2 groups based on the reviews, not the box office results.
90% of the time, the movies are separated in the 2 groups based on the reviews, not the box office results.
7:47PM on 01/11/2016
Yes, but by who's review? The JoBlo review gave it a 7/10 and Arrow called it one of of his favourite films of the year. So, according to this website, this movie is good.
I hope Jesse Giroux (who wrote this article) does not label a film either "good" or "bad" based on Rotten Tomatoes ratings.
Yes, but by who's review? The JoBlo review gave it a 7/10 and Arrow called it one of of his favourite films of the year. So, according to this website, this movie is good.
I hope Jesse Giroux (who wrote this article) does not label a film either "good" or "bad" based on Rotten Tomatoes ratings.
7:11AM on 01/12/2016
I think all of the JoBlo writers trust Rotten Tomatoes. They always post links to that in the box office summary for the weekend. I know it's not a perfect system, but I think it's the best there is (even better than MetaCritic). Besides, these trials have to be as objective as possible, so they write based on worldwide consensus. I said "90% of the time" because during the other 10% they do write based on personal opinions.
I think all of the JoBlo writers trust Rotten Tomatoes. They always post links to that in the box office summary for the weekend. I know it's not a perfect system, but I think it's the best there is (even better than MetaCritic). Besides, these trials have to be as objective as possible, so they write based on worldwide consensus. I said "90% of the time" because during the other 10% they do write based on personal opinions.
10:05AM on 01/11/2016

Not Guilty

Let's face it, while THOR isn't the strongest showcase for an actor (compared to Iron Man and Captain America, it's a lot more of an ensemble franchise than a star vehicle), not a whole lot of people could actually play the character. The rest of his career is not that great yet but he's given enough solid performances to hope for better films down the line.
Let's face it, while THOR isn't the strongest showcase for an actor (compared to Iron Man and Captain America, it's a lot more of an ensemble franchise than a star vehicle), not a whole lot of people could actually play the character. The rest of his career is not that great yet but he's given enough solid performances to hope for better films down the line.
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+1
9:34AM on 01/11/2016

Not Guilty

You can't find Thor guilty even if he does do an awful Scottish accent (well I think it was supposed to be Scottish)
You can't find Thor guilty even if he does do an awful Scottish accent (well I think it was supposed to be Scottish)
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10:38AM on 01/11/2016
lol I dont think it's supposed to be scottish dude lol
lol I dont think it's supposed to be scottish dude lol
9:21AM on 01/11/2016

NOT GUILTY

He's the father of James T. freaking Kirk !
Therefor he's NOT GUILTY !
(any time) PERIOD !
He's the father of James T. freaking Kirk !
Therefor he's NOT GUILTY !
(any time) PERIOD !
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9:08AM on 01/11/2016

Not guilty

He really hasn't done enough, we don't see a bombardment of absolute shit from him like we see from someone like Adam Sandler or Cuba Gooding Jr. I don't even get how he is considered for Movie Jail yet, 2015 was a rough a year for him outside of the MCU. However, when you look at two of his movies they make a lot of sense on paper. Blackhat was made by Michael Mann, an acclaimed filmmaker. In the Heart if the Sea was made by Ron Howard, a director whom Chris had worked with before and
He really hasn't done enough, we don't see a bombardment of absolute shit from him like we see from someone like Adam Sandler or Cuba Gooding Jr. I don't even get how he is considered for Movie Jail yet, 2015 was a rough a year for him outside of the MCU. However, when you look at two of his movies they make a lot of sense on paper. Blackhat was made by Michael Mann, an acclaimed filmmaker. In the Heart if the Sea was made by Ron Howard, a director whom Chris had worked with before and received acclaim on that movie. Plus Ron Howard is an Oscar winner. To me those combinations would be a smart decision for a young star, I would probably make the same decision. I do think he tries with his movies and until he starts slumming or being lazy I don't even think he should be considered for Movie Jail. I do have to agree with smacaskill, if any Hemsworth should be considered for Movie Jail it should be Liam. Even he hasn't really had enough movies to judge him fully yet.
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9:08AM on 01/11/2016

ALREADY?!

The man has a hand full of movies. Not enough body of work to throw him away already. I love the first Thor. The 2nd not so much but Chris looks like he's always having a blast and tries to embody the God of Thunder. I really enjoyed Snow White and the Huntsman and am surprised to see it on the negative column. Boo this article.
The man has a hand full of movies. Not enough body of work to throw him away already. I love the first Thor. The 2nd not so much but Chris looks like he's always having a blast and tries to embody the God of Thunder. I really enjoyed Snow White and the Huntsman and am surprised to see it on the negative column. Boo this article.
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2:01PM on 01/11/2016
Why are you surprised? Have you read the reviews?
Why are you surprised? Have you read the reviews?
9:04AM on 01/11/2016

Not Guilty!!

next week: Jon M. Chu
next week: Jon M. Chu
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1:50PM on 01/11/2016
I second that!
I second that!
8:41AM on 01/11/2016

Not Guilty

Shouldnt even be up on trial.
Shouldnt even be up on trial.
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8:39AM on 01/11/2016

Not Guilty

Chris Hemsworth does appear to have some talent even if a lot of his projects outside the MCU haven't been so great. Cabin in the Woods was a funny take on horror movie tropes and Chris was solid in his small role there. A lot of people like Rush and even if I'm not as big a fan I have to say Chris was still pretty good.

The one person in his family that should be on trial is his brother Liam. Now THAT is a boring actor,
Chris Hemsworth does appear to have some talent even if a lot of his projects outside the MCU haven't been so great. Cabin in the Woods was a funny take on horror movie tropes and Chris was solid in his small role there. A lot of people like Rush and even if I'm not as big a fan I have to say Chris was still pretty good.

The one person in his family that should be on trial is his brother Liam. Now THAT is a boring actor,
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9:21AM on 01/11/2016
Agreed. Liam is the weak actor of the 2.
Agreed. Liam is the weak actor of the 2.
8:26AM on 01/11/2016

Not Guilty

Unlike the likes of De Niro or Pacino, who are great actors who have been slumming it in their recent choices, Hemsworth is still finding his way as an actor and leading man. I thought he did well playing against Charlize Theron in SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN, and he impressed me in RUSH, so the guy has talent.

Keep an eye on him, but it's far too early for Movie Jail.
Unlike the likes of De Niro or Pacino, who are great actors who have been slumming it in their recent choices, Hemsworth is still finding his way as an actor and leading man. I thought he did well playing against Charlize Theron in SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN, and he impressed me in RUSH, so the guy has talent.

Keep an eye on him, but it's far too early for Movie Jail.
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1:46PM on 01/11/2016
Are you saying that DeNiro and Pacino should've been found Guilty?
Are you saying that DeNiro and Pacino should've been found Guilty?
8:06AM on 01/11/2016
Not guilty. I think he's still finding his spot in the light as he doesn't want to be typecasted as Thor. He has tried lots of action movies and comedy movies. I just don't think he has found his right spot yet although he was superb in Rush.
Not guilty. I think he's still finding his spot in the light as he doesn't want to be typecasted as Thor. He has tried lots of action movies and comedy movies. I just don't think he has found his right spot yet although he was superb in Rush.
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7:59AM on 01/11/2016

Not Guilty

I can't believe he's on the movie trial. He's very talented and has shown that he is much more capable than being just the God of Thunder. He was great in the Heart of the Sea, and especially Rush, and it's not like it was his fault that Blackhat underperformed. I mean how do you pass up the opportunity to work with Ron Howard and/or Michael Mann???
I can't believe he's on the movie trial. He's very talented and has shown that he is much more capable than being just the God of Thunder. He was great in the Heart of the Sea, and especially Rush, and it's not like it was his fault that Blackhat underperformed. I mean how do you pass up the opportunity to work with Ron Howard and/or Michael Mann???
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10:33AM on 01/11/2016
"how do you pass up the opportunity to work with Ron Howard and/or Michael Mann???"

exactly, its not his fault that people go see Paul Blart (shake my head) i nstead of stuff like Rush or In the Heart of the Sea.
"how do you pass up the opportunity to work with Ron Howard and/or Michael Mann???"

exactly, its not his fault that people go see Paul Blart (shake my head) i nstead of stuff like Rush or In the Heart of the Sea.
+0
7:54AM on 01/11/2016

Career average: 5.6/10.

Not Guilty. His only performance I've disliked so far was in SNOW WHITE & THE HUNTSMAN, but that's not enough to arrest him. He's been doing a good job in the M.C.U. movies. He was one of the few saving graces in VACATION, and I feel that the same thing will happen in GHOSTBUSTERS. He didn't save RED DAWN, but no one could have. He didn't stand out (positively or negatively) in A PERFECT GETAWAY or THE CABIN IN THE WOODS, but he didn't have a lot to work there.

Next week: Candice Bergen,
Not Guilty. His only performance I've disliked so far was in SNOW WHITE & THE HUNTSMAN, but that's not enough to arrest him. He's been doing a good job in the M.C.U. movies. He was one of the few saving graces in VACATION, and I feel that the same thing will happen in GHOSTBUSTERS. He didn't save RED DAWN, but no one could have. He didn't stand out (positively or negatively) in A PERFECT GETAWAY or THE CABIN IN THE WOODS, but he didn't have a lot to work there.

Next week: Candice Bergen, Kristin Chenoweth, Alan Cumming, Elisha Cuthbert, Danny DeVito, Matt Dillon, Brad Fuller, Heather Graham, Melanie Griffith, Raja Gosnell, Don Johnson, Angelina Jolie, Jamie Kennedy, Ben Kingsley, Brian Levant, Eugene Levy, Lucy Liu, Robert Luketic, James Marsden, Neal Moritz, Amanda Peet, Sean Penn, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kelly Preston, Meg Ryan, Seann William Scott, Barry Sonnenfeld, Barbra Streisand or Patrick Warburton.
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7:48AM on 01/11/2016

What... No?

This is a silly choice.
This is a silly choice.
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7:29AM on 01/11/2016

Huh?

He's not exactly Marlon Brando, but I wouldn't say he's guilty. Not yet anyway.
He's not exactly Marlon Brando, but I wouldn't say he's guilty. Not yet anyway.
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